Two days before my son’s 19th birthday I had a terrible headache. A different sort of headache and it didn’t want to go away. The birthday was celebrated and by the weekend, I needed to lay down and nap during the day as I suddenly had an awful fever.
That was the start of almost three weeks of illness. I had a fever for days, aches, chills, my eyes felt like they were burning in their sockets, I blacked out and hit my head, and then almost blacked out twice but averted it by throwing up. It was not pleasant. It’s now Labor Day, September 6th and I’m still feeling less than 100%. I feel like there are rocks on my chest and my head is both stuffy and sort of dizzy feeling. I can do things (for a few days crawling from one laying down location to another was all I could manage), but they are very slow.
But I don’t know if its from hitting my head or something else, but I feel very peaceful. Almost like because I have no energy, I don’t feel obligated to create more energy than would normally be possible. The weather has turned but not nasty and cold but a lovely 70 degrees with the deep blue skies we only have in autumn. I don’t want to go back to the anxious rat race feeling I had before getting sick. I don’t want to run around attempting to please everyone and only frustrating myself. It feels like a new sort of Shalom. Which is timely. Rosh Hashanah is this week. Then Yom Kippur, and then Sukkot. A new beginning. New birth. New Year. I feel blessed…..Baruch Hashem.